Last week I remembered a dream I hadn’t thought about in a very long time. A scene from the Netflix TV series, OA, reminded me of it and I thought about it again after watching a PBS program on the Oklahoma City bombing. (Excellent program and worth watching) I had the dream while I was living in Israel in 1994. I was 25. During the course of living in Israel, I saw war everywhere. From the soldiers holding machine guns on the buses, to bomb scares in Tel Aviv, there wasn’t any escape from it. I’d often have nightmares, not surprisingly. In one dream, I ran through a field trying to escape a crop airplane that was firing into the field. Then one night, I had a very significant dream and the one I remembered last week. In it, a man in fatigues broke into a crowded cafeteria holding a machine gun. When I saw him, we locked eyes and I walked toward him. I hugged him and I think I let him cry. I was shaken a bit by the dream because I thought it had a large message for me.
One of the things that struck most in watching the Oklahoma City bombing program is how the show ended with the victims reconciling with what happened. One lady said she had to forgive Timothy McVeigh. Her message really stuck with me. She said she had to or else the anger would continue to eat her alive. Timothy McVeigh received the death penalty and died, by observers, without showing any remorse. He remained bitter and angry to the end. I thought, if that women could forgive this person then there was no reason for me to hang onto any of those petty gripes I’ve been clinging to.